Chapter 1-Zell And Irvine Die (They sure die a lot in my fanfics...)

Squall:Hey seifer i heard the scientists have found a portal in the middle of the ocean and we are going to inspect it!

Seifer:Cool maybe its a portal to cheesy poof land! ^______^

Zell:Probably not i bet its a portal to gay world!

Irvine:I hope so zell ill go there with you!

Squall:I really wish you two would stop being so fucking gay the only person gayer is sephiorth_rei(Mwhahha :P) dam u guys!

Irvine:Oh cmon squall u should try being gay its fun!

Zell:Yup!

Quistis:Ok ive heard about enough of this shit! *ties zell and irvine up with her whip and throws them into the ocean...they drown and she picks her whip up*

Seifer:Thank god!

Chapter 2-The Portal

*Everyone stands outside balamb looking at the water and the shimmering blue portal hovering above the water*

Squall:Wow look its a weird ass blue thing!

Seifer:Its the portal u dumb ass!

Squall:Ah so thats what it is...hey wait fuck you!!!!

Selphie:Im gonna try and go in it!

Cid:Selphie no theres sharks in the water!

*Before she could hear she jumps in*

Selphie:Sharks?! *All of a sudden a shark grabs her leg and pulls her under...blood flows up and she is gone*

Squall:Omg they killed selphie!

Irvine at Bottom of Ocean:Bluuub..uuu...bbassttardds!

Seifer:Wtf was that?...

Squall:Sounded like a gay fish...oh well

Cid:*Sitting in a chair eating cheesy poofs*

Seifer:*Pounces on cid shoving his gunblade into him and steals the cheesy poofs* Yes its yummy time!!!! *eats the cheesy poofs and drinks some kool-aid*

Squall:Seifer your stealing from the dead!

Seifer:Yeah i know i killed half of balamb for cheesy poofs....

Everyone besides seifer says in their head:No more cheesy poofs for me....

Chapter 3-Squal'ls death,Seifer's joy!

Seifer:So theres sharks *throws a cheesy poof in the water...a shark eats it* Holy shit!

Quistis:Make sure no one falls in!

Seifer*Dumps cid into the water and watches the sharks feed on him* elw!

Squall And Quistis:Seifer your fucking sick!

*All of a sudden rinoa comes running out from a door*

Rinoa:I made it! Damn quistis you loaded me with homework!

Quistis:Well everyone else got it done you were painting your nails all day...

Rinoa:Well at least i act like a woman you bitch!

Seifer&Squall:W00T cat fight!

Quistis And Rinoa:*They scramble all over the place wrestling...they accidently knock seifer and squall off balamb* OH NOO!

Squall:*he lands in the water and sharks begin eating him* ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seifer:*he falls into the portal and dissapears...* While yelling "YEAH SQUALLS DEAD WOOHOOOOOO"

Quistis & Rinoa:...oh well

Chapter 4-Seifer Awakes in FF7

Seifer:*He lands on a girl the name of Yuffie*

Yuffie:Ow! Watch where your going you son of a bitch!!!

Seifer:Hey fuck you!!!!!

Yuffie:Hey are those cheesy poofs?! GIVE EM!

Seifer:Hey i killed someone for these i aint giving u shit!

Yuffie:Ok fine then *holds up a piece of materia* Ill trade you this for the bag

Seifer:Whats that?

Yufiee:You dont know?!

Seifer:*grabs it and eats it* Taste like shit...

Yuffie:...you dont eat materia...arg..I cant handle this idiot *runs away*

Chapter 5-Seifer causes chaos!

Cloud:Hey aeris,tifa look whos that dude?

Tifa:Im not sure but hes cute..

Aeris:Fine take him *hugs cloud*

Tifa:*bashes aeris in the face* >_<!

Seifer:Hey anyone know where I can buy ..or kill for some cheesy poofs?

Tifa Cloud & Aeris:Cheesy poofs? *they shrug*

Seifer:No one knows about those?...wut is this evil place nooooo!!!!!!

Tifa:Well I can give you a drink thats about it *runs and gets seifer something to drink*

Cloud:So who are you anyways?
 
Seifer:I am the best SeeD ever! I am the cheesy poof man! I am the hippie killer!.....I am Super Seifaman! *Poses with a pair of golden boots*..erm Im Seifer Almasy...who are you?

Cloud:Im cloud...ill call you Mr.Strange...

Tifa:Heres your drink..ugh seifaman o.O *hands it to him*

Seifer:Ok thanks.

Tifa:Gonna pay me?

Seifer:*hands her a golden boot*

Tifa:...*stays silent*

Aeris:Hey whats that? ahh!

Sephiorth:*jumps down from a tree and slices seifers drink in half* hello aeris are you ready to die??

Aeris:Ah! *runs*

Seifer:Its time to turn into seifaman :O!!! *puts his boots on and they turn gold he takes one off and throws it at the back of sephiroths head* Take that!

Sephiroth:Ow! What gay ass person throws a boot?!

Seifer:So you insult my boots eh? *throws his other boot so fast it chops sephiroths head off*

Sephiroth:X_X....

Aeris:WOW! *hugs seifer*

Seifer:Hey get off unless you plan on giving me some cheesy poofs!

Aeris:Whats a cheesy poof?

Seifer:Hmm..ugh i dunno how u make it but its yummy...and ugh orange! :D

Aeris:...a carrot?

Seifer:No way!

Aeris:hmm...

Cloud:I hate to break in but,WHO FUCKING CARES!

Seifer:*Pukes up the piece of materia he ate* ughhh.....

Aeris:ITS A MATERIA PIECE...but why did he eat it...

Cloud:I bet it taste gross!

Seifer:Take it i dont want it i dunno but all of you are boring bye! *walks away*

Chapter 6-Ending

Seifer:Great i see the portal! *he climbs a tree and jumps into it*

Quistis and Rinoa:*they are still wrestling but stop when he goes shooting out of the portal next to them*

Quistis:Wow u came back in like 5 seconds

Selphie:Yeah what happened?

Seifer:I was gone for like a hour! Maybe time is slower there... *He tells them what happened*

Quistis:No cheesy poofs? So what did you eat?

Seifer:Materia. Their food sucks!

-END-